god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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