At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
