like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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