Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
