I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I still have a little drunk in my system
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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