His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
