I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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