Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I need water and some morals
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
