Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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