A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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