Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
