Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
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We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
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Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
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