i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
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It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night