that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub