I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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