plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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