I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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