I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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