What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I need a beard to bite.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
