Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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