i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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