You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I love having hate sex.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
