I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
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He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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