according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
