oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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