Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
