Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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