I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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