that's an acceptable place to lick
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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