I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
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At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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