Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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