She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
