I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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