I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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