youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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