whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
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God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize