she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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