so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
