Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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