I looked at my own cervix.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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