He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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