Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
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