Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize