And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
