We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
