I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We talked him into tasing himself.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Someone signed my nipple.
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