oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
