Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
