You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
