Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
