when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
