my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize