I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
