This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
