I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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