So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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