god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
