and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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