Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
