I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Randomize
